


Adequate

by halfpastmonsoon



Series: Roommate AU [3]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Gen, Iruma wants a baby and Ouma has a solution, Motherhood, Referenced Alcoholism, Roommates, this is way sillier than it sounds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-10 21:05:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16462346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfpastmonsoon/pseuds/halfpastmonsoon
Summary: Iruma has a complex and Ouma provides the support she needs (in his specific Ouma way)





	Adequate

'Oi, twink, pass me the beer!'

'Hmmmm...nope!'

'Fuckin' hell,' Iruma looked up from her laptop to look at the boy, 'can't you see I'm busy? If you're gonna invade my personal space, at least be useful.'

'You're not busy,' he informed, rocking back and forth on his toes, 'I bet you're getting off to some stinky old pipes or something.'

'First of all, shitstain,' she started through gritted teeth, closing her laptop, 'I'm lookin' for replacement parts for my new genius invention. Second off,' she grimaced 'what the fuck are you wearing, you freak?'

'Oh, this?' Ouma twirled around gracefully, 'it's called fashion, my dearest bitch-chan, you should really make friends with it already.'

Iruma rolled her eyes. He was wearing a blindingly bright yellow T-shirt, baggy on his small body, and even baggier sweatpants with stripes in various shades of red and orange. Normally, he wore black-and-white outfits or shades of dark purple and navy blue, so this was the first time Iruma saw him in his preferred style, also known as full-on neon assault on her eyes. Meanwhile her outfit consisted of a powder pink v-cut shirt and short overalls. Her hair was pulled into an extremely messy bun. Iruma Miu, gorgeous girl genius, didn't always need to try in order to look absolutely perfect in her own eyes.

'Your fashion is insulting to my gorgeous and talented eyes, so either fuck off or bring me my goddamn beer.'

'It's okay, I know my greatness is blinding,' he crossed his arms over his chest, 'but I'm not moving until I hear the magic word.'

'Oh, fuck no!' she groaned, 'we are not doing that! Get out of my room, you freak! Did you actually wanna watch me get off or what?'

'Ew, no,' he scrunched up his nose and shook his head before sitting on the edge of her bed, 'can't a guy just want to socialize? With his beloved roommate, shitty bitch-chan?'

'No.'

'Oh,' he paused, putting his index finger up to his chin. 'That hurts, you know.'

'I don't care, you creep,' she huffed, attempting to kick his stomach with her bare foot. He was too far away, though, so she gave up. 'Listen, can't you just play with yourself in your room? Or go bother Toujou or whoever? I really need to focus on this auction, I don't have time to be distracted by your bullshit.'

'Aw...' Ouma's shoulders drooped and he pouted. Iruma squinted at him and opened her laptop again, ignoring him completely. If there was one thing Ouma couldn't stand, it was being ignored. He curled up into a fetal position in the feet of the bed and stared at Iruma. She wasn't telling him to leave, so that was progress at least.

The two had been roommates for a few days now. Even though they fought constanttly, they were a team at the end of the day. Ouma would often bring her drawings of his ideas for inventions, and she'd agree to work with the ones she deemed worthy. Ouma's origins weren't entirely clear to her, aside for the fact clowns and pranks were involved. Whatever it was, it taught him creativity and appreciation for machines. Meanwhile she spent a short part of her childhood in a comma, making her want to use every moment when she was awake.

Despite their clashing personalities, they had reached a mutual understanding of each other's moods, and both more or less knew when to stop and let things go.

Looking at Iruma's focused and serious face told Ouma that whatever she's doing really was as serious as she had said. He slowly got up from the bed and quietly made his way towards the kitchen. He opened the fridge, filled with his fizzy drinks and Iruma's beer cans. He grabbed one of the latter, looked at the label carefully and closed the refrigerator.Then, he made his way back towards her room.

She seemed so invested in what she was doing that she didn't notice his exit or comeback. He tiptoed over towards her and paused beside the bed. He reached out his hand, holding the beer can, right in front of her face. Iuma screeched and closed her laptop immediately.

'Don't sneak up on me, you weirdo!' she scolded him, grabbing the can. He remained there, hovering over her.

'Iruma-chan, you weren't looking at replacement parts, were you?'

'You saw...' she muttered coldly.

'I could tell, honestly,' he corrected, sitting on the edge of the bed. 'Now tell me, what's up?'

'It's none of your business,' she scoffed, avoiding eye contact.

'It kind of is, actually. I live with you, if you haven't noticed,' he remarked, while Iruma refused to answer, pursing her lips. 'Please, Iruma-chan? I want to help.'

Instead of answering, she opened her laptop without a word. Multiple tabs were opened in her browser.

Can you adopt a child while single...

Single parents...

Child adoption guide...

Surrogate mothers...

'...Oh.'

Iruma closed the laptop again, and hid her face in her hands with a groan.

'You're seriously thinking about this, huh?' he hummed, supportively resting his hand on her shoulder.

'Maybe so...' she muttered.

'Iruma-chan,' Ouma said softly, 'you really wanna be a mom.'

'And I'll never fucking be one,' she added hoarsely.

'Why do you think so?'

'There are infinite fucking reasons to think so,' she cried out, looking him in the eyes. 'Someone like me can't and shouldn't be a mother. I'm not a good role model, even if I'm a genius! I don't have time to raise a kid anyway, I'm always busy! And nobody will even let me adopt one when I'm like this. I could go and get myself pregnant, but what if I catch something and die? What if I die in childbirth? The world can't lose me! It'd be too tragic a loss!' she sighed and threw her hands up in the air with emphasis. 'So I should just stop thinking about it. It's not gonna happen. Don't make e bring it up again.'

'Actually...'

'No.'

'Let me speak, Iruma-chan,' he requested calmly but firmly, 'maybe you can't become a mom now, but I might have an idea to fill that hole in your miserable life.'

'Hey...'

'Don't interrupt me! Jeez,' he scoffed and crossed his arms. 'As I was saying...maybe you can use your invention skills for that?'

'Listen, I'm a genius, but I can't create a literal fuckin' baby,' she rolled her eyes.

'But of course you can! You can create a robot baby!' Iruma looked at him skeptically but with a degree of hope.

'Go on,' she ordered.

'We can design a robot baby together. And we can make it call you mom, and everything!' he vibrated excitedly. 'A baby robot wouldn't care that you're a slob and a slut and an alcoholic! It's perfect.'

Iruma stared at the ceiling, knitting her eyebrows. Ouma held his breatth, waiting for her verdict.

'Know what, twink...that's worth a shot, I guess. It's only fitting that I, a genius inventor, would invent my own child. I like the sound of that,' she said softly, getting up from her bed. 'Let's go and fuckin' design it right now.'

'I was gonna take a nap-'

'Too bad, we're doing this now. C'mon, fashion disaster!' she grabbed his arm and dragged him towards the desk. 'Also...'

'Yeah...?'

'Ugh, can't believe I'm saying that...thanks.'


End file.
